Ala Green Day, quick critique anyone?!? :)

[aubreyz]

Quote:Quote:Just curious, anyone else going for this listing?yep. frantically wrote, recorded and submitted "I Walk Alone" just BARELY in time.Would love any feedback anyone has since I'll revisit this track in a few weeks and make it better.I don't actually expect a forward on this, lots of things I just plain ran out of time to get to...and the excuses could go on http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... sbach,It's so cool hearing the new talent on the board. These dispatch listings are tough. My drive by 2 cents on your song is that the biggest drawback is the mix quality. The drums sound small and covered -- the bass is pretty lost most of the time. It's a good song though, especially considering the deadline. I'd like to hear a little more character in the vocal -- especially for the ala's. It's very good, but somewhat generic in places. It would be interesting to hear you go "over the top" just to see if it would work or not. I would consider some arrangement tweaks --- kind of goes on too long in places.Aubbtw-- I'm skimming this thread breaking my rule of not giving critiques unless I really have time to be thorough

[aubreyz]

Steve,Of the three tunes posted here, yours is closest to the style of the listing IMHO -- the ending kind of get's all 80's on me with the vocal style, but the progressions and and layers are getting there. The drum sound isn't working for me, but sounds like you are going to fix that. Think Retro (pre 80's) and big to give that Arctic Monkeys flavor. Also, i would do something weird with that acoustic intro to set up the anticipation that this is alt/hip/indie -- first impression helps define the rest of the track.Lyrically, for me -- it's just ok. The hook didn't really grab me emotionally. Quick mix tip -- the lead vocals in the ala's seldom have that much noticeable fx/reverb -- more tight with things like subtle tube distortion fattening them out.Overall, love the guy's voice but I can really tell he's just holding back that hair band sound he's probably most comfortable with. Push less -- don't try so hard to be hard. The newer sound is all about that. (something i'm still working on) It's a good track though -- might not make this one because of lyrical content, but there's a strong song in there.Aub

[daniel481]

Hey Aub,Thanks man, glad you like the tune! As a lifelong Green Day fan (I've been listening since I was 8), I agree that my song doesn't hit their traditional sound. But, Boulevard of Broken Dreams really doesn't either. It's extremely mainstream as far as their stuff goes, and really doesn't have that hard punk edge. So, that's what I tried to match, while trying to get a bit of the other ala's in there. I admit that, in my opinion, it's closer to the GD tune than the hipper indie stuff; I had a bit of a tough time trying to get all of that in there on short notice.So, we'll have to see! Even if I don't get it, I'm thinking of using it (along with two other ones I'm working on) for an upcoming listing looking for Rock Staff Writers. I'll also be submitting it to some other libraries. I'm pretty happy with it, and I think (well, hope!) that there's potential for it somewhere.Dan

[liamkelly]

Quote:Quote:That is a fantastic tip!!! Keep on tweakin' baby.I've still got quite a bit of tweaking to do, but we are gonna end up with a really good song, even if there's no forward. I sure like that part. I don't do much stuff like this, and it's fun...re: Defined tell me whachy'all think, and keep it real steveSteveGood work: fine song. I thought you hit the 'Boulevard' ala fine. Not so sure about the Arctic Monkeys with their rawer sound and quirky lyrics.Really liked the chorus melody and the singer has a really good voice (maybe too good for the listing ? )To be honest, I had trouble reconciling 'Boulevard' with the Arctic Monkeys and Modest Mouse. Perhaps the scope is broad Good luck and good workLiam

[twilsbach]

Quote:To be honest, I had trouble reconciling 'Boulevard' with the Arctic Monkeys and Modest Mouse. Perhaps the scope is broad I couldn't quite wrap my brain around that either. For anyone that's interested, I've re-recorded & added some guitars, re-mixed and re-uploaded a new version of 'I Walk Alone'The chipmunks are currently digitizing.

[chrislabbe]

i'm reading these posts and starting to second guess myself. i dusted off an old song and decided to throw my hat in the ring just to get that first submission in. i couldn't really figure out how gd related to the artic monkeys et al. except that the posting was looking for the same theme with a different sound completely. i thought this one captured the mood, if not exactly the spirit of green day. also am afraid the production is crap, i'm still trying to figure out the software. what do you all think? (i hope this works...)http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.p ... :Shattered Talk to me this lonely whisper begs for certainty.I see you on your balcony from my cardboard square on the dirty concrete.So little spared at so much expense by far the most frustrating thing,And I can’t tell where I’m supposed to be.I know well now sometimes you walk alone in spite of everything.If only knowing is enough then it’s the only comfort I can see.And I’m reaching upGot to try to find a way before the lights go out,Trying not to feel so shattered.All this writhing turning and twisting is something I hope you can’t see.Talk to me and I’m sure you’ll hear it like a ghost in every word I breathe.It doesn’t seem there’s anyone to care although there’s such great need.It’s hard to think one way, know one thing but to act completely differently.And I’m reaching upGot to try to find a way before the lights go out,Trying not to feel so shattered.It’s nice to see that not so much has changed since last I fell asleep.I don’t like how this sunlight lies in the northeast autumn shook up sky andThere doesn’t seem a better way to fare but barely managing.You have to try to stay warm and dry sure to hell to comfort on these streets.I realize now sometimes you walk alone in spite of everything.If only knowing is enough than it’s the only comfort I can see.And I’m reaching upGot to try to find a way before the lights go out,Trying not to feel so shattered.

[chrislabbe]

dan, i think this is a nice tune. good job. i like failure's voice following you. it seems like you are on the right track to me. rock on. chris

[chrislabbe]

Quote:Quote:Just curious, anyone else going for this listing?yep. love love love the lead guitar. i wish i could get my vocs that clear. i dont know if this has the right atmosphere to match the green day song, but honestly i like yours better. this is great for something it sounds like you just threw together and dont have much confidence in. i think this could work for a lot of things, it sounds like something i would hear on scrubs or studio 60. great work...

[gendron]

If nothing else, your vocal performance/presence in this version caught my attention in the first listen. Great job! ... good luck.Silence Quote:Quote:To be honest, I had trouble reconciling 'Boulevard' with the Arctic Monkeys and Modest Mouse. Perhaps the scope is broad I couldn't quite wrap my brain around that either. For anyone that's interested, I've re-recorded & added some guitars, re-mixed and re-uploaded a new version of 'I Walk Alone'The chipmunks are currently digitizing.

[bigdrisk]

I'm really liking what I've heard from everyone who has posted samples so far. I particularly like Steve's. Nice work at bringing in all the indie elements I thought. But what do I know? Here's what this old geezer came up with, with the help of my kids who are all Green Day fans. This probably turned out more Linken Park-ish, but oh well . . . I did three different vocals:My son (22)http://www.driskellmusic.com/demo/alone ... ale1.htmMy son's friend, Josh (19)http://www.driskellmusic.com/demo/alone ... ale2.htmMy daughter (24)http://www.driskellmusic.com/demo/alone ... tmusername: approvedpassword: listenerAny comments on which one I should update my audio file with?