Waiting Sure Is Tough...?

[jwebbinspired]

I think I've got it. Here are the lyrics. I also laid down a rough demo. I put it on my website so it will be easier to stream.http://andrewscottwills.com/woar.mp3I'm thinking about changing the word "wife" in the 2nd chorus to "bride." And I'm still open to people ripping my heart out, if it's not right, it's not right.“Waiting On a Ring”©2008 Andrew Scott WillsLove hit me hard,Like a fastball,Hit out of the yard,She told me to call,She wrote her number,Right here on my hand,So I’d remember,To dial it in,She’s waiting on a ring,Can’t wait to see whether I’m Mr. Right,Waiting on me,Just to see if I had a good time,I can’t stop thinking about her,And I thank God,She’s waiting on a ring,I think she knew,That I’d propose,I guess the clue,Came from the rose?I took a deep breath,I couldn’t wait anymore,She said yes,Before my knee hit the floor,She’s waiting on a ring,She believes I’m her Mr. Right,Waiting on me,To take a knee and ask her to be my wife (bride),I can’t stop thinking about her,And I thank God,She’s waiting on a ring,We were pronounced,Husband and wife,Ready to set out,And start our new life,The organ plays,We say our farewells,As we drive away,She looks at the church bells,She’s waiting on a ring,Can’t wait to be with her Mr. Right,She’s been waiting on me,Patiently for her whole life,,I can’t stop thinking about her,And I thank God,She’s waited on my ring,

[jwebbinspired]

First off, I've renamed this song "Waiting on My Ring." I worked on the first verse, I think it better prepares the listener for the second verse. I posted the chorus it goes with too. I'd love some feedback. This song is kicking my fanny Love hit me hard,Like a fastball,Hit out of the yard,She told me to call,And gave me her number,Is she the one?Couldn’t help but wonder,As I pick the phone,She’s waiting on a ring,Can’t wait to see whether I’m Mr. Right,Waiting on me,Just to see if I had a good time,I can’t stop thinking about her,And I thank God,She’s waiting on my ring,

[claire]

I had one I was going to write called "Waiting on a Call" that would have been kids in high school, adult waiting to hear about a job, old person waiting to die. I didn't ever write it, thanks to the guys who wrote the brilliant "Waiting on a Woman". I personally try to avoid stepping on a major title that's out there. Which is not to say I'm right, just that's how I do it."Waiting on a ring" sounds, to me, like what it obviously is - waiting on an engagement/wedding ring. Not a phone call. Again, I could be wrong but I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone talk about waiting on a "ring" when they're waiting for a phone call. I know what the twist is, but for me the phrase is so hard wired into my brain that a "ring" is a piece of jewelry, I'm having a hard time getting past the artifice.I really like your lyrics, just not the hook.Claire

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks Claire, I really appreciate your feedback. I never even thought about that. I should have finished this song back when I started it...not that this is better than "Waiting on a Woman" Which I think is one of the greatest country songs of this decade. The bridge in that thing is amazing.Darn it.

[claire]

The lyrics to "Waiting on a Woman" are the kind of lyrics that remind us of what brilliance can be in country music. They don't sound contrived, they resonate with everyone, there's a touch of humor and some tears, and that song is one of those I wish I had the talent to write. Yes, the bridge is about as elegant a bit of writing as you're bound to hear anywhere.There's no written rule that says you can't write a similar title to something that's out there right now. Titles aren't copyrightable. Your idea is entirely different from "Waiting on a Woman". And let's face it, it can take years for a song to hit (I don't know how long "Waiting on a Woman" has been around but I think it's been a few years) so you have to go by what you feel is right for you.Claire

[jwebbinspired]

Claire, Another great song Paisley sang (and I think wrote) was "Didn't Have To Be." I wish i'd written that one. Yes. I understand. I'm not stratching this. But what worries me is your point about the term "ring" being so closely tied to a wedding ring. I'm afraid now that listeners won't get the phone ring verse. I am just wondering if the setup can be more solid to better explain it's a phone that's ringing (kind of like I did in the bell verse). I tried to setup the chorus better with this:Love hit me hard,Like a fastball,Hit out of the yard,She told me to call,And gave me her number,Is she the one?Couldn’t help but wonder,As I pick the phone,She’s waiting on a ring,Can’t wait to see whether I’m Mr. Right,Waiting on me,Just to see if I had a good time,I can’t stop thinking about her,And I thank God,She’s waiting on a ring,

[claire]

maybe it's "she's waiting for the ring", which would come naturally out of "As I pick up the phone/She's waiting for the ring". dunno.

[geo]

Hi Andy.... I'll through my $0.02 in ....I like the cadence you have set up on the verses.... little quirky which I like but I have a little issue with the chorus lyric...The hook (1st and last lines) kinda feels like they're hanging out there alone without connection to the rest of the lyric.... I like rhymes to preceed the hook... it's a personal preference... but I think it reinforces the hook ... gives the listener a hint it's coming... you might consider.....She’s waiting on a ring,It's the moment that's going to change her life,She's waiting on a ring,I got to step up now and do what's right,I can’t stop thinking about her,I thank God, for the joy she brings,She’s waiting on a ring,Something like that.... I think it could be cool song with a little tweaking....Good luck with it...Peace, Geo

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks Geo,I see what you're saying. I will keep that in mind...I'm actually considering changing the hook all together. I do agree, I normally rhyme the last to lines anyway, I don't know why I decided not to...Andy

[claire]

Anothing thing about that pesky last line (hook line) - the line that precedes it is a power position and you get a lot of mileage out of the hook itself if the line before it flows logically into the hook line. In the Brad Paisley song we've been wishing was ours,She'll take her timeBut I don't mind...Waiting on a womanBut I don't mind waiting on a woman. The entire thought flows together. It rhymes and it's a complete thought.If you can pull those two chorus lines together into one thought - you're head and shoulders above just tacking the hook line on at the end.Claire