Joke of the Minute...

[davekershaw]

Yeah, I like the questions better than the answers.

[ibanez468]

Oct 13, 2008, 5:34am, drew wrote:Oct 12, 2008, 6:43pm, nomiyah wrote:WHAT IS IT..... ?Each question consists of 3 clues. Answers at the bottom (NO cheating)1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me.. I'm called a big swinger.4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it.14. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush. This one seemed easy til I read the answers. I hear ya'!!

[drew]

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

[mewman]

This one is for Milfus......http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-EuyEsYTEMewman

[louis2012]

Is it just me, but everytime I see the name 'Mewman' I grit my teeth and hiss the name like on Seinfeld when Jerry's arch nemesis 'Newman' enters the scene. haha I'm sure you're nothing like him though, Mewman!

[aldicicco]

A guy walks into a bank and approaches a white-haired lady working at a desk.She asks, "how may I help you, sir?".He says, "I want to open a F***ING bank account!".Startled, she asserts, "I don't appreciate that kind of language sir.".He repeats, "All I want to do is open a F***ING bank account!".Rattled, the old lady shoots back, "Sir, I don't like your tone! I am going to get the bank manager immediately!".Returning a few seconds later, the bank manager asks "Sir, is there a problem I can help you with?".The man exclaims- "I have one million dollars and I want to open a F***ING bank account!".The bank manager snaps to and says "Don't tell me this old B**CH is giving you problems?!?".Smile....

[ibanez468]

Confessions To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip to famous old St. Andrews' Golf Course in Scotland. On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, "Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me." His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you." They embraced and kissed. On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry, darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me. The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on his wife's clubs. He screamed and ranted, "You liar...you cheat ... you despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies' tees?!"

[linziellen]

Spaghetti!!! For several years, a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without.' 'SEND EXTRA SAUCE'. ...sorry if you've already heard it, there are 25 pages now

[drew]

80 percent of men cheat in America, the other 20 percent cheat in Europe~ Jackie Mason

[ibanez468]