Tomorrow's Kiss - ROUGH 2 verses and choruses REVISED

[pedrocosta]

I'm also guilty of using the same chord progression on both verse and chorus for some.
For some it works, in this case I think it works
I really like that lead line, very nice! Still trying to visualize what style this could be best produced in.
In my case I mostly produce as part of my writing process.
What is your process flow Casey?

Keep it up, sounding good

[Casey H]

I'm also guilty of using the same chord progression on both verse and chorus for some.
For some it works, in this case I think it works
I really like that lead line, very nice! Still trying to visualize what style this could be best produced in.
In my case I mostly produce as part of my writing process.
What is your process flow Casey?

Keep it up, sounding good

Thanks Pedro...

I'm hoping to go for acoustic singer-songwriter. When I started it, I was influenced a lot by John Mayer's "Battle Studies" CD but it probably isn't in that direction anymore (or maybe it never was, LOL!). Lately I've been doing my songs as generic singer-songwriter as possible because I'm finding I get the most traction that way.

My process flow? Total chaos, LOL! As a non-performer who doesn't record his own, I try to get the basics of the SONG down and then work with a work-for-hire producer (or collaborator who produces) on the production details.

Happy Holiday!!
Casey

[circle41]

I like this a lot, especially the lick on the front. If you haven't already done so, try letting the lick continue through the verses. Also think you should change the lyrics to make it girl-centric, then get some teenage girl to sing it. It could be one of those light-hearted pop songs they're always looking for to sell iPads (and maxi-pads).
Jim

[Casey H]

I like this a lot, especially the lick on the front. If you haven't already done so, try letting the lick continue through the verses. Also think you should change the lyrics to make it girl-centric, then get some teenage girl to sing it. It could be one of those light-hearted pop songs they're always looking for to sell iPads (and maxi-pads).
Jim

Thanks Jim... I was thinking of using it to advertise these very small apartments I'll be offering at no charge in 2012.... I'm calling them "Stay Free Mini-Pads"...

I know.... It doesn't get much punnier than that!

Happy New Year!
Casey

[bwd]

Hi Casey,
I hear a different chord on "slip aWAY" and again on "more CLEAR".
For me the verse chords would be -
F / C / Dm / Bb /
F / C / Dm / Bb /
F / C / Dm / C /
Bb / / / Bb / / /
That would break up the harmony a little. Might be worth a try?
I think the hook is great - even though it can't be taken literally. The only idea I have is -
"I'll trade (or swap) yesterday's tears - for tomorrow's kiss" -
but I don't know if that will work or sing so well?
Cheers,
Doug

[allends]

I have another idea for this!

This morning I was thinking about my earlier suggestion to re-write the lyrics to make the guy seem less presumptuous about his desirability to the girl when it hit me: This whole story line would be far more plausible if it was turned around. If a woman were to deliver your lines, everything feels more believable.

I feel that it is easier to imagine a woman hurting a man by saying she wants to be "just friends" (we've heard this before ). It's much easier to believe that a man would jump at the chance to have her back than the other way around (the women in my life are famous for holding a grudge ). It's much more delicious to imagine that a woman is offering the promise of a kiss to make things better.

I admit that the way I'm presenting these ideas is sexist. I'm doing this purposefully just to demonstrate the point that musical messages are triggers to invoke archetypes and involuntary reactions. Who cares about literal truth... in music, it's all about the guts!

Just a thought. I hope it helps.

Peace,
Allen

[Casey H]

Thanks all for the ideas. It all helps!

Allen: I'm pretty sure I'm going to toss the 'friends' line anyway in my effort to be as non-specific as possible. He can say he hurt her before by breaking up with her without the "just friends" thing. I agree that might come off a touch more feminine than masculine. I hope the chorus, however, with the strong "swear" thing is more masculine.

Of course, I won't use the George from Seinfeld line, "It's not you, it's me"...

Best,
Casey

[randwool]

As a non-performer who doesn't record his own, I try to get the basics of the SONG down and then work with a work-for-hire producer (or collaborator who produces) on the production details.

Hello Casey,

Do you mean you don't capture your work by some recording method prior to working with a for-hire producer?

[Casey H]

As a non-performer who doesn't record his own, I try to get the basics of the SONG down and then work with a work-for-hire producer (or collaborator who produces) on the production details.

Hello Casey,

Do you mean you don't capture your work by some recording method prior to working with a for-hire producer?

Hi Randwool
Yes, I record something fairly rough at home. I play guitar and have CuBase and some tools. I try to get (at least) the chords, melody, and lyrics in a format that someone can produce from. Sometimes, as with this one, I even lay down guitar licks if they are very relevant to the song.

On this one, as much as I CAN play the guitar lick, I asked my friend Allen DeSomer (Taxi member and on this forum) to record a bunch of measures of it for me since he plays and records so much better than I do. It just made things easier with him giving me a bunch of copy/paste to work with. Thank you, Allen!

Best,
Casey

[randwool]

Casey,

That sounds like a good workflow plan. I'm just presuming everyone is doing the total end to end production these days.
Hope you have a good new year and many happy forwards.